


Cause I still fucking love you

by criminalmyminds



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: F/F, Gen, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-15
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-13 14:02:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28779483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/criminalmyminds/pseuds/criminalmyminds
Summary: After you and Emily break up, you decide you need a fresh start and leave the BAU. You leave her a special letter.(based off the song Drivers License by Olivia Rodrigo)
Relationships: Emily Prentiss/Reader
Kudos: 20





	Cause I still fucking love you

**Author's Note:**

> I changed the pronouns from she/her to they/them so if i missed a part just let me know and I'll fix it :)

It hurt when you and Emily broke up, she was the one person who made you truly happy. She made you feel safe, wanted, and loved, happy. Emily was the main source of your happiness. For two years everything was going well, she had moved in after a year of you two dating and you were happy because everything was perfect. You would take each other on cute picnic dates on go on walks on the park together, it was amazing. Then the fighting started, after a year of everything going well it started to go down hill. You two would find anything to fight about, one moment everything was normal, then you were yelling at one another.

It hurt, the constant fighting and slowly drifting from each other. You loved her, so much. Correction. You still love her. At this point you guys rarely spoke or spent time together, you knew it was over. She was gone; you lost her.

She had stopped trying, she wasn’t committed anymore. For a healthy relationship to work you needed to committed people to pull their weight and work together through the rough patches, but she stopped. She wasn’t happy and it hurt not seeing her happy anymore. Everything about it hurt, she told you forever, forever and always. It was a stupid and cheesy saying but you loved it, because she meant it. People fall out of love and it sucks.

'I guess you didn’t mean what you wrote in that song about me.'

“Goodbye Y/N…” She slipped the promise ring you had gotten her off her finger and placed it in your palm. Her finger tips brushed against your hand, they felt cold against your skin.

She didn’t even blink, not a tear shed, or a change of pitch in her voice. She just turned around and left. It was over. You two had talked and agreed it was best to separate, everything at work would remain professional and you two could try and be friends, but you knew that wouldn’t work.

You let out a sob as the door closed behind her, you raised the back of your hand and covered your mouth looking at the ring in your other hand. It had finally hit you that it was over.

'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street.'

7 months had passed since you two broke up, yes you missed her, yes you still cried, yes it still hurt. Just recently she had introduced the team to her new girlfriend ‘Danielle’. You weren’t mad that she had moved on, you were s heartbroken and STILL hadn’t moved on in the slightest. Dani was tall, blonde wavy hair, with bright blue eyes, she was skinny, had the perfect figure, a lot closer to Emily’s age than you were. She was everything you weren’t.

'You're probably with that blonde girl who always made me doubt, She's so much older than me. She's everything I'm insecure about.'

You sat in the seat in front of Aarons desk. It was fairly late and you knew he’d be the only one on the team still here. You had handed in your resignation two days ago and today was your last day, but no one knew except Hotch and Penelope; you just couldn’t leave without saying goodbye to her in person.

“Are you sure about this Y/N?” Aaron asked you his face wasn’t as serious as it usually was, he looked sympathetic. You and him always had a good relationship, you two were good friends and you’d often babysit Jack when he was out with Beth.

“I’m sure" You let out a shaky sigh and continued. “You and Penelope are the only people who know today was my last day, I left everyone a letter on their desk. I know they’re going to ask why I’m gone in the morning, just tell them I wasn’t happy in this position anymore."

You wanted to cry, you didn’t want to leave the team but you weren’t happy where you were. You needed a fresh a start, somewhere you could get your life together and truly be happy again. You felt stupid for leaving like this, but you had to go; everyone needs a fresh start at some point. “Your transfer has been accepted, you’ll start next week Monday so that gives you a week to settle in.”

You gave a small smile and nodded, “Thank you… for everything”. Aaron returned the smile and got up from his chair to hug you goodbye. “You be safe, okay?”

“I will. Thank you.” You pulled away from the hug. “There’s also a letter for you on your desk, Garcia has one too.”

“I’ll let her know.” He nods as you make your to the door. “Goodbye Aaron" You open the door stepping out of the room. “Goodbye Y/N". You suck in a breath and close the door behind you walking down to the bullpen towards the elevators.

You scan the room one more time as the elevator doors close thinking of how much you loved your team, how much you were going to miss them. You hated leaving like this, you hated putting them through this again, but you had. You had to go.

Emily’s pov

I was surprised when Hotch told us Y/N left. Honestly, it hurt knowing they were gone. Hotch said he knew where they were going, but didn’t want us to know. They wanted to be alone and didn’t want to be found.

Another part of me felt like it was my fault. Did they leave because of the break up, Y/N was fine for 6 months, maybe they weren’t fine. At first it was hard. Not coming home with them, no one to cuddle with after a long day, no one to cuddle up against at night. It hurt walking out their door. I wanted to cry, wanted to crumble to the ground and sob, but I didn’t. We weren’t happy together, I knew they were the right person but maybe in another universe I would meet her again, but I had Danielle, yes she was amazing and sweet. Something about the relationship just felt off. Maybe I rushed to quickly into a new relationship, who knows we just have to wait for the outcome. Y/N was gone and it hurt like hell.

Emily Elizabeth Prentiss, I’m sorry I’m saying goodbye this way. It’s cowardly of me; I know. I couldn’t do it in person and I really and sorry. I’m also sorry for the way things ended, but I’m happy for you, I’m glad that you found someone to make you happy. I do miss you; I miss you everyday. I will be honest here, I’m not over you, and I don’t think I ever will be. 'And I know we weren’t perfect, but I’ve never felt this way for no one. And I just can’t imagine how you could be so okay now that I’m gone.' I needed a fresh start, I need to get away and just breathe again. I need to find my happiness again, my happiness that’s not with you. It hurts knowing 'you didn’t mean what you wrote in that song about me, cause you said forever now I drive alone past your street'. Maybe in another life we can meet again, I didn’t know how to feel when you introduced Danielle, I was sad because you had moved on and I hadn’t. But I was glad that you were happy; she’s good for you. But just know I love you and 'I still see your face in the white cars, front yards. Can't drive past the places we used to go to. Cause I still fucking love you, babe. Sidewalks we crossed. I still hear your voice in the traffic, we're laughing over all the noise. God, I'm so blue, know we're through. But I still fucking love you, babe.' Goodbye Emily, you’ll alwayshold a special pe in my heart. I love you.


End file.
